Its all about the system.

Reality is not an option!


This took me about 40 years to figure out: It’s all about the systems you create – every relationship whether at work, with a friend, with a pet or with your spouse, you create a system and the success depends on the orientation of the guidelines that you – consciously or unconsciously – agree to. How are mistakes handled? Punitively? With grace? How is behavior changed – by request or demand? Is the positive emphasized or the negative? Is each person operating from personal power with limits as to what they can or cannot do in regards to the other, or out of reactivity? I was raised in a system of make a mistake and get nailed to the wall, and attempt at all turns to control others behavior like your own happiness depends on it, and this has resulted in a lot of paralysis personally and professionally. I have…

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